Document 83

Geordie Jooks cries Fore at Gullane

Author(s): Robert Fairnie

Copyright holder(s): Robert Fairnie

Geordie an his freend Tam wis haein a guid gaun gemm o gowf doon at Gullane airlier in the year. At yin o the par fower holes, Geordie skelpit the ba a richt keeker aff the tee. It wis S.D.T.M. (strecht doon the middle). He wis fair chuffed as his een follaed the ba on its flicht doon the fairwey an, when it stertit tae faw tae the grund, the sicht o anither gowfer walkin on the fairwey catched his ee. The ba wis fleein strecht for him an baith Geordie an Tam cried oot “Fore!!!” as lood as they cuid. Weel the ither gowfer maun hae heard the cry for he birlt roond tae see whit wis adae an it wis juist then the ba hit him richt atween the een. If it hid been a fitba he micht hiv been able tae heid it but ye cannae heid a gowf ba sae he juist drappit like a stane an steyed thare.

Geordie gawped at Tam, wi his face like a cloot, an Tam gawped back. The neist thing ye kent, they war baith daein a Lindford Christie doon the fairwey an, when they reached the ither gowfer, he wis flet oot on his back wi his mooth gawpin tae the lift an the ba hauf stickin oot his foreheid juist abuin his neb.

“Jings, he leuks deid tae me!” said Geordie.

“Ay. A doot he’s deid aw richt – niver kent whit hit him. Puir sowl.” quo Tam.

“My guidness Tam, A’v killed him! Whit am A gaun tae dae noo?” Geordie speirt.

“Weel, if it wis me,” reponed Tam wi a wee keek tae the green, “A’d mibbie tak a nummer nine airn an, wi an open face, try an play it like a bunker shot. It wad be a peetie tae spyle sic a guid drive.”

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Geordie Jooks cries Fore at Gullane