Document 734

The Erseboond

Author(s): Tom Hubbard

Copyright holder(s): Tom Hubbard


Efter Rimbaud's 'Les Assis': thon makar's tribute ti the librarians o his native Charleville

Plookie an pockie, foustie roond the een,
Their wrattie fingers cleeked intil their hochs;
Wi doobtsome scruif their harnpans are owergeen
Like the cankert growthieness on cowpit brochs.

Ilk rickle o banes has shagged his-sel intil
The muckle mirkie skelet o his chair;
Aa day, aa nicht, it's fuitsie-fuitsie thrills
Wi wuiden baurs that shoogle ower the flair.

The auld cunts hae aye been plaitit wi their saits;
In simmer drouth, their flype turns calico;
Or else they're chitterin, like sairie taeds,
Govin at the winnock at the glushie snaw.

- An their saits aye sair thaim weill, like; shitey-broon,
The strae yields ti their hurdies' ilka sklent;
Spreit o the auncient sun lichts up, that's boond
In braids whaur there's the corn ti ferment.

An the erseboond, knees at teeth, green pianists,
Ten fingers bangin on aneath their sait;
Tempo di barca, largo e mesto, juist,
- Their heids keep time, near ti ejaculate.

Dinna steir thaim up, or else they're sunk!
Like skelpit baudrons, gurlin, apenin slaw
Their shouthers, feemin, fizzin, spairgin spunk -
Their hainches swall, their breeks fuff oot anaa.

You hear thaim dunt, thae baldy heidbangeers,
Their pows agin bleck waas; wi unco clack
They ramp their feet; the buttons that they weirs
Are beasties' een that keek oot fae the stack!

They can pley, forby, the invisible haund that kills:
Atween their winkers, seeps thon hellish bree
That, whan you leather your bitch, her look distils:
An you sweit, trapped in a cundie till you dee.

Erseboond again, their nieves encuffed in clert;
Joe Public's interruptions are fair cussed;
Their chinless cholls aye bobbin loose, - fae stert
o day till gloamin - tremmlin fit ti brust.

Whan their winkers faa intil a dour-like sloom,
They dover in their sexy saits' enbrace;
Wee dollyburds o chairs, reenged roond the room,
Encirclin desks you'd think looked on po-faced.

Ilk blume o ink draps comma-shapes o pollen,
Hushies ilk erseboond in his bit flour-cup
Like the adder-bell in flicht throu gladiolie
- An the ickers gar thae auld boys' pricks swall up.

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Cite this Document

APA Style:

The Erseboond. 2024. In The Scottish Corpus of Texts & Speech. Glasgow: University of Glasgow. Retrieved 24 July 2024, from

MLA Style:

"The Erseboond." The Scottish Corpus of Texts & Speech. Glasgow: University of Glasgow, 2024. Web. 24 July 2024.

Chicago Style

The Scottish Corpus of Texts & Speech, s.v., "The Erseboond," accessed 24 July 2024,

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The Scottish Corpus of Texts & Speech. 2024. Glasgow: University of Glasgow.


Information about Document 734

The Erseboond


Text audience

General public
Audience size 21-100

Text details

Method of composition Handwritten
Title of original (if translation) Les assis
Author of original (if translation) Rimbaud
Language of original (if translation) French
Word count 371

Text medium

Magazine (e-zine)

Text publication details

Publisher Spectrum
Publication year 1993
Place of publication Kilmarnock
ISBN/ISSN 0964-5853
Part of larger text
Contained in Spectrum
Editor Stuart A Paterson, Gerry Cambridge et al
Page numbers 58

Text setting


Text type



Author details

Author id 232
Forenames Tom
Surname Hubbard
Gender Male
Decade of birth 1950
Educational attainment University
Age left school 18
Upbringing/religious beliefs N/A
Occupation Academic, librarian and writer
Place of birth Kirkcaldy
Region of birth Fife
Birthplace CSD dialect area Fif
Country of birth Scotland
Place of residence Kirkcaldy
Region of residence Fife
Residence CSD dialect area Fif
Country of residence Scotland
Father's occupation Caterer
Father's place of birth Dysart
Father's region of birth Fife
Father's birthplace CSD dialect area Fif
Father's country of birth Scotland
Mother's occupation Caterer
Mother's place of birth Dysart
Mother's region of birth Fife
Mother's birthplace CSD dialect area Fif
Mother's country of birth Scotland


Language Speak Read Write Understand Circumstances
English Yes Yes Yes Yes Everyday
Italian Yes Yes Yes Yes Work, holiday, fluency fluctuating
Polish No No No No Smattering. Work, holiday
Scots Yes Yes Yes Yes Everyday. Scots spoken in relaxed circumstances