Document 37

The Upperside Express or (the cycling cyclone)

Author(s): George Hynd

Copyright holder(s): George Hynd


Git the sheep aff the road
Keep the kye ahint the dyke
'Cos here comes Joan
on her wee green bike

In Her bonnie new tracksuit
coloured maroon and white
Puffin and pechtin
She looks a fearsome sight

The sweat is runnin' aff her brew
Her legs are jist a blur
The pair lass she is quite convinced
that cyclin's guid fur her

Up tae Rosebery she flees
An goes birlin' by the manse
Heid doon ower the handlebars
Jist like the tour-de-France

Frae upperside tae Mount Lothian
She goes flee'in ower the brigs
She's cleared the woods O pheasants
And flegged aw the paitriggs

There's nae rabbits it the roadside
They're aw deep doon in their holes
Aw the wildlife vanishes
As along the road Joan rolls

The troot dive deep in Gladsmuir
Hay flees awa in bundles
As the maroon an white tornado
Slowly by them trundles

Make way! Make way! Joan cries oot
"Git oot ma road" she'll yell
Her brakes are kindae wonky
An she hisnae got a bell

It's reached the stage when Derek's
Rue'd the day he bought the bike
An for the safety o the countryside
He's gonnae swop it fur a trike

Wee John kin walk in front o her
Wavin a big red flag
As Joan peddles doon tae Penicuik
Puffin her king sized fag

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Cite this Document

APA Style:

The Upperside Express or (the cycling cyclone). 2024. In The Scottish Corpus of Texts & Speech. Glasgow: University of Glasgow. Retrieved 25 July 2024, from

MLA Style:

"The Upperside Express or (the cycling cyclone)." The Scottish Corpus of Texts & Speech. Glasgow: University of Glasgow, 2024. Web. 25 July 2024.

Chicago Style

The Scottish Corpus of Texts & Speech, s.v., "The Upperside Express or (the cycling cyclone)," accessed 25 July 2024,

If your style guide prefers a single bibliography entry for this resource, we recommend:

The Scottish Corpus of Texts & Speech. 2024. Glasgow: University of Glasgow.


Information about Document 37

The Upperside Express or (the cycling cyclone)


Text audience

General public
Other Self
Audience size 1

Text details

Method of composition Handwritten
Year of composition 1995
Word count 236

Text type



Author details

Author id 611
Forenames George
Surname Hynd
Gender Male
Decade of birth 1940
Educational attainment None
Age left school 15
Upbringing/religious beliefs Protestantism
Occupation Retired Plasterer
Place of birth Dunfermline
Region of birth Fife
Birthplace CSD dialect area Fif
Country of birth Scotland
Place of residence Bilston, Roslin
Region of residence Midlothian
Residence CSD dialect area midLoth
Father's occupation Plasterer
Father's place of birth Kelty
Father's region of birth Fife
Father's birthplace CSD dialect area Fif
Father's country of birth Scotland
Mother's occupation Housewife
Mother's place of birth Kelty
Mother's region of birth Fife
Mother's birthplace CSD dialect area Fif
Mother's country of birth Scotland


Language Speak Read Write Understand Circumstances
English Yes Yes Yes Yes
Scots Yes Yes Yes Yes