Document 1625

TV critic review column: Wright Way Has a Fat Chance of Slimming Kids

Author(s): Paul English

Copyright holder(s): Derek Stewart-Brown: on behalf of The Scottish Daily Record and Sunday Mail Ltd



14 September 2006

Ian Wright's Unfit Kids Channel 4, Wed

IT'S Jamie Oliver's fault. The chef with the thick-cut lips made a hero of himself with his one-man campaign to get gruel out of school. Now everyone's copying his telly technique, almost as enthusiastically as they mimic those supermarket recipes he endorses with his tongue hanging out like an auld dug's.

Feta cheese with mint and snow peas, anyone? Or will we just have another Pot Noodle?

Step up chief copycat Ian Wright, the unwitting court jester of footie punditry ("I've got passion but no idea of tactics. I'm the black Kevin Keegan," was just one of his commentary gems) who's shaping up to tackle more than 100 stone of lard.

No, not John Hartson, but instead, eight grossly obese teens. Ian Wright as the saviour of the slovenly? Aye, right (Wright, Wright).

It could be an interesting transformation on his part, as much as the lardy lads and lassies. Now that the former Arsenal legend is no longer telling us he feels like Chicken Tonight (well-known for its low-calorie count...), he's taken to chiding chubby children and their horse-cheeked excuses for parents to get off their vast a**** and do 20 star jumps in the living room.

"I don't know anyfin' now wot is more important than wot I'm doing," says Ian.

Learning to speak proper is a close second.

Like Jamie before him, Wrighty embarks on his mission to get the fatboys slim by visiting an English comprehensive, where the lads get boobs before the girls.

Turning the childhood terror of "last to be picked" on its head, he chose his chunks first and introduced them to a new world of exercise, with all the success of that man who led a horse to water...

The joker's efforts are commendable, but let's not kid ourselves. He's no more likely to change the bigger picture than Tony Blair is to fulfil his promise to cut childhood obesity by the turn of the decade.

Take 13-year-old Jerome, a sorry 14-stone soul locked in a life of lard, with a mother whose idea of progressive parenting sounds something like: "Stop stealing my money to get food. If you wanna die, I'll just throw you under a f****** car."

In the mouth of Roseanne Barr, this would be funny. But, in reality, it's far more worrying than a diet of pizza and PlayStation.

At least Wright shows an attempt at child psychology with Jerome. "There was a time when I didn't want to play football or stuff either," he says. I'm sure some Celtic fans remember that too, Ian...

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Information about Document 1625

TV critic review column: Wright Way Has a Fat Chance of Slimming Kids


Text audience

Adults (18+)
General public
Audience size 1000+

Text details

Method of composition Wordprocessed
Year of composition 2006
Word count 472
General description Newspaper TV review

Text medium


Text publication details

Publisher Daily Record
Publication year 2006
Place of publication Glasgow
Part of larger text
Contained in Daily Record 14/09/06

Text setting


Text type



Author details

Author id 1165
Forenames Paul
Surname English
Gender Male
Decade of birth 1970
Educational attainment University
Age left school 17
Upbringing/religious beliefs Catholicism
Occupation Journalist, Daily Record Features Writer
Place of birth Paisley
Region of birth Renfrew
Birthplace CSD dialect area Renfr
Country of birth Scotland
Place of residence Glasgow
Region of residence Glasgow
Residence CSD dialect area Gsw
Country of residence Scotland
Father's occupation Social club manager
Father's place of birth Port Glasgow
Father's region of birth Glasgow
Father's birthplace CSD dialect area Gsw
Father's country of birth Scotland
Mother's occupation School meals auxiliary
Mother's place of birth Port Glasgow
Mother's region of birth Glasgow
Mother's birthplace CSD dialect area Gsw
Mother's country of birth Scotland


Language Speak Read Write Understand Circumstances
English Yes Yes Yes Yes Work / home etc