SCOTS Project - www.scottishcorpus.ac.uk Document : 31 Title : An epistle tae Wullie wi the broken jaw Author(s): George Hynd Copyright holder(s): George Hynd Text Noo Wullie - A broken jaw must hiv been a terrible thing, Tied up wi wire, nuts an bolts and wee pieces o' string. Awbody askin if ye wir still feelin fine and caw'n ye "The Pittenweem Farankenstein". Wanderin' hame frae the Lodge wi yer haunds in yer pockit, Ye tripped up on the pavement and took af like a rockit. And just like Humpty Dumpty ye hid a great fa' Hit yer gub aff the kerbstane an smashed up yer jaw! They tell me ye wir stuck in a hospital bed, So Ah wis just wonderin hoo the hell wir ye fed? Yer body wid be screetchin oot fir some fuel An' ye could nae survive on yon watery gruel! But a suppose things maybe could hae been a bit wurse Than being force fed by some big buxom nurse, Whae wid make sure ye guzzled the wattery tripe Wi' the aid o' a funnel and a length o'hose pipe! Nae mince or tatties or guid auld greasy pies, an' the sicht o' a steak wid bring tears tae yer eyes - Nae fish or chips or a tasty bit troot, An' whae wis the sadist that brought ye in fruit? So Ah suppose ye'll be talkin' like a ventriloquist's dummy, "Gi'es us a gottle o'geer an a wee dark rummy" So tae help ye oot here's a wee gift frae me, An make sure it's just used fur yer O.V.D.! This work is protected by copyright. All rights reserved. The SCOTS Project and the University of Glasgow do not necessarily endorse, support or recommend the views expressed in this document. Information about document and author: Text Text audience General public: Other: written for self Audience size: 1 Text details Method of composition: Handwritten Year of composition: 1995 Word count: 250 Text type Poem/song/ballad: Author Author details Author id: 611 Forenames: George Surname: Hynd Gender: Male Decade of birth: 1940 Educational attainment: None Age left school: 15 Upbringing/religious beliefs: Protestantism Occupation: Retired Plasterer Place of birth: Dunfermline Region of birth: Fife Birthplace CSD dialect area: Fif Country of birth: Scotland Place of residence: Bilston, Roslin Region of residence: Midlothian Residence CSD dialect area: midLoth Father's occupation: Plasterer Father's place of birth: Kelty Father's region of birth: Fife Father's birthplace CSD dialect area: Fif Father's country of birth: Scotland Mother's occupation: Housewife Mother's place of birth: Kelty Mother's region of birth: Fife Mother's birthplace CSD dialect area: Fif Mother's country of birth: Scotland Languages: Language: English Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: Language: Scots Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: